Sunday, August 9, 2009

Love In Our Lives

As Ive gotten older I have come to realize that time is fleeting ...
Over the past few weeks that point was driven home and has become even more crystal clear
I dont want to waste whatever time I have left
I want to spend it with people I love - doing things I love ( or at least enjoy ) - and I want to make a difference ( hopefully in a positive way )
I dont know who or what is meant to be in my life but I do know I have the power to make the best of it
And in all this I believe the secret is love
I believe the way to recognize true love is to understand that it is in fact a verb - an action - manifested in and thru you
It seems to me to be when - from your position - someone or something elses interests trump and usurp your own
Love is when you sacrifice - only its not - because it is a selfless choice you gladly make
And in this action you find some of the most genuine satisfaction of your life
You have to recognize love when it comes into you life
You have to know it - see it - and go after it - recognizing that there is always a risk associated with it
There is no guarantee that who or what you love is going to love you back
And even if you find love - you always run the risk of loosing it
Nothing lasts forever ...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Life IS like a box of chocolates ... But Im talking Cherry Bowel here !

I'm packing AGAIN
And unpacking ...
Actually - at this moment - I'm really not sure which ?
Point is - I came across it - AGAIN
The bowel
Its tin ... with a hammered out pattern
If I were to guess - I would say it came out of the depression era - but I'm really not sure
We originally crossed paths in my Grandmother Lytle's summer home
It sat on a very distinctive table that also ended up in my parents home after her passing - though I am not sure what became of it after their separation ? ( I think my mother has it - which would mean my brother will end up with it )
Anyway - the bowl - which is the important part - to me - sat on this particular table as a centre piece
When she - my Grandmother Lytle - would take audience of us - her grandchildren - we were paraded in thru the back kitchen door - ushered quickly past the dining room and into the very large and expansive living room.
Now that I think back - I'm not sure if it was because I was so young or it was actually THAT Big but this room gave "Great Room" a whole new meaning
But back to the bowel ...
It was ALWAYS filled with cherries
This in and of itself may not seem significant to you but for me - a Canadian - raised in the cold, white North - where fruit was a delicacy - and being up in cottage country - in the 60's - when a trip to town and the local markets for food and beverage was a major production - well - cherries were at a premium
My cousin Tommy and I would eat SO many of them - ( cherries ) - that our lips would BE cherry red for days - not to mention what the other end of our body was emitting
But the bowl ...
For me - it signified - and still does - a strange and wonderful feeling of heritage - intermingled with transition - the sort you find in the passing of one generation to the next
When the bowl arrived at our family home in the Park my mother placed it in the centre of this very same table
You can only imagine my disappointment when I peered into the bowl only to find nuts - and not cherries
Now - in hind sight - it all makes perfectly good sense - and thru the years - I came to accept - and even appreciate the nuts
You see - cherries are temporal - and perish quite quickly - whilst nuts - which have a wider social appeal - and tend not to be seasonal - not to mention the fact that - given almost any gathering - can be dispersed quickly and efficiently - with half the mess and bother
When I acquired the bowel it came without the aforementioned table
You can imagine the mental gymnastics I went thru trying to find the perfect place and use for it ...
Eventually - it came to rest on my bureau top to be used as a catch all for various sundry bits and bops that come out of ones pockets at the end of the day
Later - it became a coin holder for all or loose change
When the trauma of my marriage demise ensued most of my family heir looms were delicately packed away for transport to unknown destinations
I'm not sure how or why the bowl has recently re surfaced ?
Most of my personal items are still in storage
But - for this - I am GLAD - and its CHERRY Season too !

Friday, May 15, 2009

Roots and Seeds

Surviving Mothers Day 
Another commercial occurrence that has gotten WAY out of hand ( my opinion ) 
Why do you need a "special" day to recognize your mother ? 
EVERY Day is Mothers Day !
Ok - so I stole that one from Joan Lunden - but its TRUE !
I always get weirded out by the celebration and this year was no different - actually - even worse
First - it was just days previous that my beloved daughter had been attacked by Pirates off the Coast of Somali 
TRUE that ! 
What a horrific feeling for a mother to know their child is in harms way and there is NOTHING they can do about it ( except pray - which I did profusely
I had been in that place before when my son was diagnosed with a brain tumour 
Not "fun" 
No secret what that - and subsequent events - did to my life ! 
This year was especially emotional because - not only was I wrestling with all of the above aforementioned emotions but my mother - bless her soul - is battling Alzheimer's and - recently - has had a lot of challenges 
As it has happened before - I was reminded of the circle of life - and just how precious it can be  
Not to be too Carrie Bradshawish here but - the season finally of Greys Anatomy addressed this very same issue
I am AMAZED at the TRUTH in the "just stay in the moment" - "be real" - "make sure you tell those you care about how you feel" and "dont sweat the small stuff" ufanisms are ... 
I have been Blessed with my ROOTS and My Seeds
And for THIS I give Thanx to My Lord 
Amen - Amin - Ahay

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Road Less Traveled and April Showers

Hoping for May flowers ... 
What a month !
It actually started in March when the rug was pulled out from under me ( again ) and all my dreams - life as I knew it - and what I thought I had been creating - was destroyed
When I finally came up for air I realized ALL things happen for a reason and I am better off not being subjected to all the negativity, lies and deceptions
Now - all that is left to do is rebuild - AGAIN 
Re establish
Pick up the pieces - set and be clear on my priorities - and move on
The key - as always - is to thy own self be TRUE 
Someone must think I have a BIG Plate because the shit just keeps being piled on ...
Trying to be and stay POSITIVE 
The glass is 1/2 empty and I am proud of it 
There is ALWAYS room for improvement 
I am SO Thankful for my health, my children and my friends - some of whom I did not even realize that I had 
Funny how when we are down on our knees - broken and humbled - perspectives become clear
GREAT "Reality Check" ( even if it is MY Reality ) 

Friday, January 30, 2009

Internal Rumblings

Churning inside the depth of my soul 
Thoughts and feelings merging into one undeniable truth 
Mind sets and arch types slowly crumbling 
What was once seemingly un penetratable  is now porous  and fragile to the point of disintegration 
Just because you share blood does not make you family 
Just because you are family does not make you friends 
Just because you are friends does not make you immune to departure or termination
Everything has a season and reason 
I have stated this is so many ways so many times before 
Time speeds up near the end 
There is only one truth 
Reality is what we make it by the manifestations and distortions - denials and manipulations of our environment
Each one of us has the power to make or break our own condition
We are all part of one 
Our spiritual well being ultimately depends on our ability to recognize and adapt to this fact
The economy of life 
Supply and demand 
Survival of the fittest is just the free market ebbing and flowing thru its natural cycle 
Nothing is complicated 
Just not easy 
Hell on earth 
Death as transition 
Less is more 
It is in giving that we receive 
Paying it forward 
Post cript 
I STILL bite my toenails ...