Thursday, January 26, 2012

Who Would Have Thought ...

I met someone ... 
Don't really want to say too much about it 
May "jinx" it and all 
But I DID want to "share" ( and document ) the occasion ! 
So ... 
It was TOTALLY Unexpected 
Obviously - I wasn't looking 
Heck - I cant even get thru most days without crying ( yet ) 
But just when you think - no - its not possible - there they are - right there in front of you 
Literally ! 
Ummm ... 
So about this person ..,
Well - even though I have kind of known them all my life I really didn't notice them until very recently
They are SO Unique
This person is KIND 
Kinder than most give them credit - including themselves - I am sure
They are very gentle and tender hearted - though they may come across as a little tough and aloof
I think that's probably just a protection mechanism because kids and animal LOVE them 
( and really - who would know better ) 
This person is bright
VERY Bright ! 
Again - I think this person is a lot brighter than they give themselves credit for 
And of course they are Cute 
ADORABLE actually  
But I am sure they do not see themselves that way 
This person seems very multi dimensional
They are spiritual ( but not religious ) 
There are few topics - so far - that they haven't been able to engage in 
They are well read - and if they don't know something they are not afraid to admit it - research it - and then come back with an educated idea or opinion. 
This person has a sense of ethics and morality and places a high premium on both 
They are endowed with integrity beyond most 
This person takes care of themselves - or at least they try - physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually
I LIKE that 
They are independent and do not need anybody or anything to make them "complete" 
This person is honest - to a fault - and it has gotten them into some trouble throughout the years but I don't think they would ever change anything they have ever said or done 
That is just the way they are 
I haven't taken this person skydiving yet but I cant wait ! 
I REALLY want to share "my joy" with them ...
Like I said - it is ALL "Very New"
We have SO Much to EXPLORE  
Together ...
But so far - I am IMPRESSED ! 
Who would have thought ? 
Whats that phrase from the Wizard of Oz ... 
"if you ever go looking for your hearts desires again - don't look any further than your own back yard - because if it isn't there - then you never lost it to begin with" 


Trust - even if your future seems uncertain.
Trust - even if you have no idea how your situation could ever improve.
Trust - even if you feel alone and abandoned.
Trust - even if your heart is shattered.
Trust - because your strength comes from trusting that everything always gets better with time and that miracles do occur and prayers are answered in illogical ways.
Trust - because we need you to continue living and shining your light and a lot of people love and depend upon you.
Trust - because God / the Universe loves you for who you are right now and has a wonderful plan in works for you that you can't yet see or feel . . . but you soon will. 
Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle!
( Just Trust ) 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Listening ...

Strange things happen when you sit still and listen
Then again - maybe not so strange
I am conflicted
As usual
Again - not so strange
I so desperately want to fix myself and become whole
I feel like I am close ...
I have found some interesting pieces to the puzzle
I just need to put them all together
Isabelle is a key
But it is a piece that will not fit until I finish other work
Last night I asked for more work
This morning I went to my daily inspirations - quotes from Rumi and Khalil Gibran
I havent sought them out in weeks ...
I usually greet them each morning on my phone for some daily wisdom
These past few weeks I have been remiss
Today though was different
As I lay in the bed with one half of my world ( my BEAUTIFUL daughter ) I logged into my mentors
Rumi reminded me that it is not love I should seek but all the barriers that I have built within myself against it ...
Then Gibran spoke of how your children are not of you but thru you
I KNEW that one
My kids are my LIFE !
They are the BEST Part of my journey here on earth ...
If nothing else I KNOW I have been BLESSED and I am HONOURED to have had them in my life
PS My job in the next few weeks is to take these pieces of my sort them out, put them in order and hopefully add them to my Tapestry of Dreams ( that was a Disney Parade that Jonni~Renee was in. Her FIRST of many during her Disney carreer. )

Monday, November 7, 2011

Integrity - Revisited ( from May 2011 )

A topic near and dear to my heart ...
It is how I try to live my life - though lately seems to be lost in the chaos / drama and delusions of others ...
It seems to me that integrity is what happens when your thoughts - words - and actions are literally "integrated" into the same set of overall values.
Unfortunately ... it is quite often the case - that what we think and say is little more than wishful thinking -having almost nothing - or very little to do - with how we actually act.
I have come to wonder how anyone can really trust us when it's far from clear if we will do what we say?
We need to consider the development of integrity as the natural outcome of delving deeply into our hearts - which is - or should be - where our core values are to be found.
The first step is to explore what really matters to us.
Everyone has different principles / priorities - though there may be some that are universal
I think the "Golden Rule" is a GOOD place to start ... 
The key is to decide what is most important to us.
It's impossible to uphold every principle at once.
We are diverse and unique individuals but I believe there has to be a common thread that runs between us all - no matter what our persuasion
Im a visual person so I like to think of it as this ...
The width of your heart is about your relationships - and includes both the left side - for listening -  and the right side - for speaking.
The height of the heart is where you hold your cherished principles ...
It gives you the strength to hold fast to them.
If we could all just take a little time to develop our own bank of integrity and then focus on our common threads - maybe - just maybe - a new sense of TRUST would develop and we could all take a Giant Leap Forward ! 
Just think'n - say'n- and hopefully - act'n

Thursday, November 3, 2011


As always - I find it so amusing that when you need to hear something - when I NEED TO HEAR SOMETHING - the Universe has a way of bringing someone or something into my life just so that I can "get it"
That's what happened today ...
A Very Dear Friend called
I'm SURE they had "something else" to tell me but fate stepped in and the conversation took a WILD "twist"
I "got it"
The words were ALL there - with FEELING - with MEANING - with TRUTH and HONESTY - given to me - UNCONDITIONALLY
( No Strings Attached )
I may be at a "low place" in my life right now ... but "that's ok"
I am a Phoenix
I WILL Raise Again !
And with these words ... these words that this INCREDIBLE Spirit shared with me - I found a little breathe of SUNSHINE and HOPE peer into my gloomy - but Faithful World
The path may be treacherous and the journey long but the destination is ALWAYS in site and even if I never make it there I know I will have given it my all !
Best Part Is ... I Found My Validation

Sunday, October 16, 2011

"That Place" ( Back To The Lake )

As I sit on the back porch listening to the wind dance thru the trees I am taken back once again to that place I once "belonged"  ...
There is a boat out on the lake pulling a small child on wake board
The hum of the engine is so familiar and serves only to solidify that place in my mind where I am about to go
Its cool here today
There is NO humidity
In Canada this would be referred to as a "perfect" summer day
But here - in Florida - it is only considered a reprieve from the oppressive heat.
No matter
This is irrelevant
The weather is what constituted and originally set me off on this mental journey down memory lane
I close my eyes and remember happier times
I take myself BACK to that place ...
I'm not going to tell you it was perfect because it was not
Nothing ever is
But is was real ...
Well - it was REAL - to me
There was a TRUTH - of sorts -  even when I may have preferred otherwise
It wasnt perfect either - but the older I get - the more I come to appreciate - and realize - it was better than most will ever know or experience
There was a lake
A lake ...
There were boats
( Ah - were there boats ... )
But those memories might best be assigned to another blog where they can be better served and appreciated with proper attention and prose
Back to THAT place ...
There was always conversations
Again - it may not have always been what I wanted to hear - but it was ALWAYS engaging
There was food
The BOUNTY of "summer"
That particular collection of substances we were privileged to enjoy but only for that limited window of seasonal time and opportunity
Then - at the end of the day there was a bed
There was a warm, comfy bed with LOTS of pillows and blankets - all of which smelled DEVINE
And finally ...
There were HUGS ...
LOTS of them
Daddy ALWAYS made SURE of THAT !
I can SMELL this place
It is a SPECIAL Place ...
Is it any wonder why I want to go back there now?

Monday, October 3, 2011


There is but ONE
I seek - I call
I see - I embrace
There is but ONE
Alpha / Omega
Amen - Amin - Ashi