Tuesday, March 16, 2010

On Donnas Death ( Aug 08 )

Any death is tragic - especially for those who are left behind.  
May Hali find peace in the fact that her mother went quickly and probably did not suffer ( much )
That having been said - though I only met Donna once - and talked to her over the phone twice - I do know she was a strong spirit and a force to be reckoned with
My son - who lived with her for a short period of time - said her love and care for animals was to be greatly admired and no one can deny her love for and affection for Hali
My reality and experience with Donna was not of such a positive nature
She knowingly perpetuated a relationship with my then husband whilst I was in Orlando with our son who was undergoing treatments for a brain tumour
She physically assaulted me when I went to confront her about the situation
She took into her procession much of what "was mine" and had taken me - and my family - 20 years to accumulate
She did all this and never once seemed bothered about it
Please understand - I in no way feel vindicated - or even happy any of this has transpired but I do not want what she said and did in life to be overshadowed by death
No person is perfect - least of all me
There are three sides to every story - yours, theirs and the truth somewhere in between - but the story - and lesson - should never be lost
We should not canonize someone in death out of guilt or remorse
For all the good we remember - there is always the darker side in each and every one of us that ought not to be forgotten
I do not think it is appropriate to "glorify" the dead
We must forgive the transgressions of others - optimally whilst they are here with us - but we must never forget - and should never contort what they - or we - are in life. ~me~

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